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why we do things like our parents ?
How many of us have asked themselves.. why am I like my father? Why am I like my mother? or why I'm not like either one of them?
I will write down my opinion about how can a girl choose to have have her mothers behaviour. Of course it can be changes in time like choosing to be like someone who she liked in a movie or a family friend.. anyway there can be changes during our lives.
In the first moments/days/months after she is born there can be a conflict between herself and mother.. why? because she wants that his father loves her more then he loves her mother.. and she can't eliminate her mother because she loves her too.. and.. in this way she chose to be like her mother.
There are moments in our life when we see ourselves doing things like our parents. Things that we see in our parents when we are little and that we reproduce when we are older.
Putting those algorithms together I think we first learn to be an adult. So.. what do you think ?
- April 14, 2007
- psychic
well..the child when is born is “white paper” and there ,where he lives, is grown up(developing) his personality…he doesn’t know anything and he learns what he sees , he’s being learned to do something in this way and the only people near him grown up are also models for him.put the child in jungle and you’ll see that he will do like the animals and you can’t say that the animals are his parents…he learns to speak in thelanguage that you teach him,the same with the behaviour..is not because he wants to steal thelove of his mother or father,but because this is the only example..the education,the religion,the goodness,the refinement are features educated in familly,implicit are like his parents and after that ,when the child can distinguish he will bring up himself..with your permision…..
auzi…si daca de exemplu tatal meu a murit cand eu m-am nascut?de ce totusi am trasaturi de comportament ca ale parintilor(ramasi sau chiar si ale tatalui-trasaturi ereditare)?ca n-am mai incercat sa eclipsez pe unul dintre ei ca sa fiu placuta…destule contraargumente?
what i`m preseting is an exemple/schema.. not someting generic.. yes it can exist a lot`s of ways to grow your personality at the beginning of your life.. like in the case you present *growing without a father*.. case which i`ll discus in a future post
Well i must say i have little from both my parents and is normal, they were the first i came in contact with and as Alina D said, we are like a “white paper” at first and we will do what we see at the people around us … i see that at my kids also they copy all they see like writeing to pc, look at clothes in store as they saw at there mom:))) … but with time they will come in contact with other people also and they will start to form there own caracter, the way they think and act … but the most important is to see also the mistakes they make, out parents or the people we come in contact with time and learn from them …. oh and about the conflict between the mom and girl is not really like that cause i saw cases where the mother/father were jealous of the kid so i dont think we can talk about a conflic the girl/boy will be always jealous if he see for exemple there parents kissing and not kiss him also … well that all i can say, for now
kiss bye
In my opinion Alicia.. this conflict only boost girls desire to be like her mother.. and at the same time her mother represents her feminine model. I can say that this conflict is the beginning of a competition which is at unconscious level.. not at conscious level :*
if u say so might be, but it not same to all … in my case wasnt like that i was never in a conflic with my mom or to want to be like her … but maybe u been there so u might know and see this from another point of view …